Shelley Kemmerer Shelley Kemmerer

Parental Health, Partner Support, and PMADs: Part I

A collaboration with Scott Mair. We discuss different approaches to promote parental wellbeing, partner collaboration after welcoming a baby, and ways to better support one another while transitioning into parenthood.

I’m going to open this blog up with a question to all of the parents reading this blog:

How do you differentiate between struggling and suffering?

If you’ve been on social media lately, I’m sure you’ve heard (or seen) the phrase “the struggle is real”. According to Merriam-Webster: to struggle (v): to proceed with difficulty or with great effort.

Now to suffer , here are some definitions (v.):

  • to submit to or be forced to endure.

  • to feel keenly: labor under

  • to put up with especially as inevitable or unavoidable.

  • to allow especially by reason of indifference

  • to endure death, pain, or distress

  • to sustain loss or damage

  • to be subject to disability or handicap

According to various studies, parental stress has increased significantly during COVID-19 and has not returned to pre-CV19 levels*. We are collectively short on mental health resources & other ante/postnatal parenting support to meet these enormous demands. From a public health perspective, this is highly problematic as it can have a direct impact on child / family wellbeing. Parents are both struggling and suffering to varying degrees. Is there anything we could have done about this before it became such a colossally pervasive issue?

From a parental perspective, we need to overhaul the amount of support we, as a society, are extending to parents.

  • Effective stress management strategies- affordable, attainable, easy to access. Could this be a component of family planning? Certainly.

  • Support system scaffolding to aid parents throughout all stages of parenthood. If we have preventive measures in place as early as possible, it would help to mitigate more serious effects in the future (i.e. parental burnout, neglect, maltreatment, etc). Some examples of this type of “scaffolding” include affordable childcare, mental health services for both birthing partner and non-birthing partner, sleep optimization resources, and so forth.

  • Collaborative partner support- this is more of an individual discussion, although all parents can have discussions on household equity, their own definition of “household task completion”, and how family-specific tasks are divided amongst all contributing parties.

  • More time with your care team!!!!! There are so many bureaucratic reasons why one may have quick ante/postnatal visits (lots of patients, not a lot of time, administrative demands and so on). If you have questions for your care team, you should never feel rushed or dismissed.

  • Education on recognizing signs & symptoms of perinatal or postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMAD) and differentiating between “baby blues” and PMAD. Roughly 50-80% percent of new moms experience changes in mood and sadness during the first 2-3 weeks following birth which typically resolve without intervention- this is referred to as postpartum “baby blues”.** Baby blues and PMAD are not the same as symptom length and severity are different.**

If you follow @RunTellMom on Instagram, you know that parental health is one of my favorite topics to cover. One of the reasons why I started my @RunTellMom social media account was to provide a space for parents to share stories, to communicate and collaborate with other parents / specialists, and to bring you fresh insight and parental wellbeing resources to further support parents throughout various stages of their parenting journey. One of my favorite collaborators is Scott Mair. He is a Mental Health Campaigner, Author, Army Veteran, Trainer, Speaker and Consultant. Scott has been featured on multiple podcasts including @Therapy4Dads, Bystanders, Knock on Parenthood, to name a few.

Next week’s collaborative blog will feature Scott and some of his favorite tips and tools for parental support and parental wellbeing. Don’t forget to follow along on Instagram and Pinterest!

Stay tuned…

Sources:

  1. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.626456/full

  2. https://www.chop.edu/conditions-diseases/perinatal-or-postpartum-mood-and-anxiety-disorders

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